Tantric Sex

As a woman, I value Tantric relationships a lot, and one of the most far-reaching aspects is the simple practice of semen retention while orgasming that men chose to do. The effects of this skill, which men can learn quickly, last all day, every day, benefiting men and, if they are heterosexual, the women they are with. Some women are not well educated on the subject, or just have different priorities, maybe haven’t experienced how exciting a  sexual relationship when semen is retained can be. But I highly recommend couples do this core practice. Tantra isn’t predominantly about sex at all. In fact some schools of Tantra prefer celibacy, and only sporadic sex between married couples. But when practitioners do have sex, the males don’t ejaculate when they orgasm.

Some men worry the orgasms wouldn’t be as strong, but they are more powerful, instead, more full-body, full-aura, and similar to what women experience. For men who identify with the female role sexually, this is a great way to own that. For men who make love with women, they can bond much more strongly because they are sharing intimate experiences more fully. The rest of the day is a bit more like what the female partner is likely feeling too. Though women have hormonal changes through the month, they don’t have to go through the deep decline in energy from regular ejaculations as men do. The changes that happen from that are probably so familiar to most men then don’t realize life doesn’t have to be like that.

The evening out that occurs in the male chemistry, and thus psyche, makes it easier for men and women to communicate as couples, to maintain the same level of attraction rather than watching it wane sadly. For a woman to feel a man is really into her, and then he ejaculates, and isn’t so attentive, and may even get sleepy, and distant, no longer turned on by her can bring up vulnerabilities, a sense of unworth, unattractiveness, the sense that the man was only acting out of hormones rather than being present with her as a person.

When instead the man can climax, and still show the same level of arousal, climax as often as he wants, and make sure the woman is also satisfied, she can feel more gratified, wanted, and the passion feels more mutual.

It doesn’t make a man womanly, but it balances him into the Tantric ideal to do the practices, including semen retention as one of the practices. Tantra is about the union of the male and female in bliss, and their separateness, the longing to be one, the longing to pull back and see each other. This is the vibration of the world, the sine wave of arching up and down, pulsing into and out of manifestation. The male and female however represent many things, from the magnetic poles of the body (male at the top, female at the bottom), to principles of physics, to the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems being equalized. This happens much more easily when the man’s body isn’t having to lose semen, which includes cerebral spinal fluid. So he can be less irritable, more focused, with better performance at work and athletics, more alert, creative, alive.

The union of the male and female also refers to the sides of the brain. Women’s naturally have more communication between the two sides, and men’s grow more communication if they practice Tantra.

For me, though all of that is vitally important to me, the fact that Tantric orgasms are more spiritual than regular orgasms usually are is even more important. Making love with someone who didn’t experience the golden patterns of light that we both make, feeling it move up the body and fountain out of the head together, as we move into more intense expansion into our larger and larger selves—well, it feels a little foreign to me. While I’ve had great relationships in which the men weren’t Tantric, I still felt the soulfulness, the depth of love, even in short term encounters. Some people feel these things without knowing anything about Tantra, or even semen retention. Whether people feel this way intuitively or not, learning some specific Tantric exercises can add to the repertoire, and may lead to more bliss than imagined.

Once a couple has experienced actual Tantric bedroom arts, they may not chose to use those precise methods often, but their lovemaking will be colored it it always, and their bond will be stronger. They will have traveled on  a magic carpet ride together into mystical realms.

Tantric exercises that can be practiced regularly as part of meditation help tune the body for moving energy through it in prescribed ways. Practicing while masturbating next is a good step, then moving toward intercourse, then, with intercourse itself, but slowly, carefully. Eventually, the techniques become second nature. I’ve had long term partners who never ejaculated while we were together though we made love a lot. Once they’d learned that, they never wanted to go back, even once, to regular orgasms. It takes about a month for the body to recuperate. I can’t tell you how many men have told me they felt the same thing. I have never heard a man say he likes ejaculatory sex better. Tantric sex can become easy.

Clenching the muscles around the perineum, pulling in and up, hard is the most important physical part.  Pull up with all the muscles in that area as hard as you can, and hold your breath as long as you can, then release. Continue to do that, and as you pull in, with your eyes closed, direct energy to move upward from the first chakra at the perineum along the center of your body, to the top of your head. This may be easy for you to do the first time. Or it might take weeks of moving up a little at a time until you really feel the energy can move through. There may be blockages along the pathway, or you may not be very sensitive to energy, or used to using your will to manipulate it. Eventually, you should be able to feel within you a tube that allows energy to flow.

And you should feel you are a tube for energy to flow. And you are the energy flowing through it. And you are flow itself, a continual line of divine light at the core of existence.

When you are sexual, and are about to ejaculate, when you’re first learning, push in and upward with a finger, on the perineum. If you have serious prostate issues, don’t do this, to be on the safe side. Clench, push, and move your eyes upward. This is only a part of the Tantric method, but it’s a good start, and may be enough to change everything.

What do you think of Tantric Sex?

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  • http://www.lucidplay.com/ Tantra Bensko

    Being a virgin shouldn’t prevent practicing Tantra at all. Most of Tantric arts are not sexual. Doing the breathing, clenching, visualizing, circulating, and such helps develop and align the chakras, including the throat, which helps self expression in the arts. Development of any of the chakras helps deepen what we have to say as artists, our ability to feel and empathize, play and imagine, use media with a powerful impact.

    People feel my visual art scintillates, and is highly charged sexually, though for me, it’s not coming from sexuality per se so much as being Tantrically intense. Tantric sexuality isn’t preferably about intercourse as much as it is about merging with the Divine, and with the Higher Self.

    It’s cleanest, and most effective, and traditional, not to imagine an object of lust, but the actual life force itself which moves through the body, and to ride that up to the higher chakras, to feel the excitement mount as you grow closer and closer to your Higher Self.

    When hormones are producing luxuriously, this is easier to feel, and the energies are more palpable as they move up the body. Semen retention helps keep those hormones youthful, the energy not depleted, according to Tantra and Taosism. You can feel the prana running up through the body more fluidly.

    Taking maca powder and other healthy substances that are good for the sexual hormones, like Horny Goat Weed can restore those levels to some degree, and they can be cultivated to circulate excitement even directly about an artistic project. They can be projected through Tantric magic into the ideation of the project itself.

    So instead of sending the romantic love energy into a person, you energize your creative project.

    Does that start to answer your questions?